Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's You. All of You.

You all are the reason I am convinced I am NOT crazy. 
Because if it wasn't for this blogging world I would be convinced that I am crazy.  I mean who else spends most of their waking moments thinking about a child they have never met?  Who else obsesses over movement on their agency's wait list? Who else thinks about boy or girl, how old, nurseries, toys, clothes, hair, when, if, how long,  and the list goes on . . . . 
All of us.  We do.  And we understand when someone else posts about their worries or frustrations with the wait because we are going through the same thing.    We understand this journey because we are on it.  Together.
And it is so nice not to be alone

Monday, April 18, 2011

5 Months Waiting!

That is how long we have been on our agency's waitlist.  I remember the huge sense of joy, anticipation and relief when our dossier was accepted and we were given our first numbers.
67 Boy
95 Girl
We were also told that wait times had decreased to 9-12 months from placement on the list to referral.  I told myself to prepare to wait a year thinking surely by next Christmas we would have a referral.
Ahh now things have changed. 
Our current numbers are
47 Boy
63 Girl
Some movement, but not enough to meet that 9 month period.  Even a year wait seems unlikely unless it is a year from today.  We have adjusted our expectations and now pray for a spring 2012 referral.  Hopefully, hopefully then we will have a little one bless our lives, that we can love on and parent.
I remember a line from the movie When Harry Met Sally -   “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Oh Little One - When we realized we wanted to spend the rest of our lives as your mum and dad, we wanted the rest of our lives to start right now!  But it isn't time yet.  Someday baby. Someday. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Happy Birthday

Guess who is 40 something....Yep Mr. Word.  He really is a sweet, patient and kind person.  He is the only guy I have ever met who can calm my fiery Latina personality.  He makes me laugh everyday and is always up for an adventure especially when it involves travel. And he loves my shows (Oh yeah I got him hooked on Project Runway and America's Next Top Model).  He is also a great "dad" to the furbutts.   So Happy Birthday to the only person I could ever imagine sharing my life with. 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Crisis Averted

This isn't meant to be a political indictment (well maybe a little) nor do I want to incite any political debate.  As a government worker I just want to express my frustration with this whole budget fiasco.  Was it necessary to wait until the final minutes of the evening to agree on a budget deal?  Was it necessary for Congress to force federal agencies to spend countless hours this past week, not on doing their jobs, but developing contingency plans for a possible shutdown?  Was it necessary to scare people into believing they would be furloughed (possibly without pay) or that they would not receive essential government services?  And while we are talking about pay - Congress if you are going to deny almost a million federal workers a pay check, you should look into forgoing your pay during that time also. 

I had a little more peace of mind than some.  My job is primary law enforcement so there was never really a concern whether I would be down and out.  Not so for many others.  And this comes after many federal workers had their pay frozen for 2 years.  No raises, no cost of living adjustments (thank you Mr. President).

I'll get off my soapbox for now.

In other news, well there really is no news.  We are in a holding pattern.  We are still 50ish on our agency's waitlist and not really knowing how the new MOWA review will affect referrals and placements.  So now we are thinking about doing things that we hadn't thought we would be able to do - taking a vacation this fall and possibly again next spring.  Buying another car.  Selling our house, buying a new house.  Trying to keep busy and do something other than think about how long it may be before we have a little one join our family. 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

We are Casey's Parents

Any American Idol fans out there?
Well a few weeks ago my husband and I were watching American Idol.  Right before each singer performs there is a brief montage of their journey to AI and in this show there was a brief interview with each contestant talking about their home life, parents, etc.,  One of the contestants, Casey Abrams, spoke about his parents saying they were a little older than his friends' parents - cut away to an older looking couple.
I turned to my husband and I said we are Casey's parents.  Or we will be.  I am 40 and my husband is a little older.  We don't feel too old to be parents.  And today lots of people are waiting to become parents.  But the reality is, we may be in our 60's when our child graduates high school and college.   
This seems odd to me because I was a freshman in high school when girls my age had babies.  They are now grandmothers (at 40!) while I'm still waiting to become a first time mom! 
But I think waiting to start our family has been best for us.  So while we may be that older retired goofy couple loudly cheering on their kid at sporting events and plays (or chess and debate if he/she takes after me), we wouldn't have it any other way.