Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Big S

We visited friends from out of state this weekend.   A couple and the beautiful newborn baby girl they adopted.  Just one month ago they got a call and were told they were chosen by the birth mother and to fly out that evening to pick up the baby.
I would be lying if I didn't say I was envious.  I would also be lying if I didn't say that the entire visit was difficult for me.  I am so happy for them, but to see them beginning their family, holding their little one and being so in love with their child, all I could think of is when will it be our turn.
I think of our adoption every day.  Every single day, several times a day.  And lately the "when it happens" has been turning into "will it ever happen." Every day a little bit of me is discouraged and disheartened.  Every day I feel a little less.  I want this so much and there is nothing I can do but wait.  And waiting sucks.