Friday, December 14, 2012

What a Year!

Has it really been almost 8 months since I last blogged?  I feel like a dog shaming is in order and yes I am here at my computer with my head hanging low and a sign that says "I have not blogged in 8 months."

Well, it's been quite a year.  April/May were consumed with adventures in home remodeling.

Our 3rd Car Garage addition.

The end of May we vacationed in Peru.

And all the while our Ethiopian adoption went nowhere.  We were 18 on the boy list in April and 18 again in May.  2013 was shaping up to be another year of squelched dreams and agonizing waiting. 


July 18th.  We got a call.  About a little boy.  Born the day before.  In Arizona.  Our Son. 

Wait, what Arizona????? Yes. We didn't have much confidence in being able to complete an adoption from Ethiopia so we decided to apply for a domestic program.

And it happened.  He was born.  We were called.  Our son. 

A beautiful perfect baby.  Almost 5 months old now.  A little boy.  Happy.  Loved.  A blessing. 

It feels wrong to not show you his entire lovely face.  We haven't finalized yet and I am just being cautious.  But that smile.  I had to share that. 

He is radiant and full of joy. 

And I love him.  My son. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Happy Birthday/Happy Anniversary

I know I know - I am a horrible blogger.  And if I had any photoshop skills I would photoshop my face onto a milk carton.

But onto the title of this post.

The Happy Birthday is due to this wonderful guy celebrating a birthday.

Loved by the ladies in the house.
The Happy Anniversary is due to this being Month 17 on the wait list.

Some other numbers for you - We are #20 (Boy) and #26 (Girl) on our agency's list.  Referrals are very very few and far between.  I have a feeling we are in for many more anniversaries. 

Expression: Sad Resignation

Saturday, March 3, 2012

15 Months into the Wait

Just got our new numbers this last week.  After 15 months on the waitlist we are # 22 for a boy and # 30 for a girl (although I have it on good authority that our numbers are actually one lower on each list).

At least there is movement - not just on the list but with the families that are traveling to Ethiopia for court or to bring home their children.  And that is encouraging.

Meanwhile, I am in some sort of hyper nesting mode and I have been spending my weekends ridding our drawers, cabinets and closets of clutter.  I think the hubby is afraid to come home and find that I have "organized" the contents of his past into one 9 x 13 box (good bye old comic books and yearbooks and cleats from 1975).  I did get him to clean out our garage, something that I asked him to do oh back in 2008.  All it took was the purchase of a new car :)  

We are also going to start our home renovation project in about 2-3 weeks when the weather is a bit warmer.  I am so looking forward to Spring! Long walks with my bestest friends, especially this one who is turning 11 this month.  Do you think I can get Willard Scott to wish him a Happy Birthday? 


Sunday, February 26, 2012

February Redeemed

February was shaping up to be a big disappointment.  No referrals had gone out in almost 4 weeks.  It had also been months since any infant girl referrals had been issued. That is until Thursday and Friday when 4 referrals went out, one of which was for an infant girl.  In the P.S. world (post slowdown), this is considered a verifiable traffic jam.       

February is also the month when our agency sent out a very candid email explaining the recent slowdown in referrals.  In summary - the U.S. Embassy and MOWA continue to raise their standards of required evidence to prove a child's legal orphan status and legal availability for adoption.  There are challenges with obtaining and verifying all the documentation needed to refer a child.  Some of these challenges are unique such as obtaining documentation in remote regions or in areas where taking records is not standard practice.  Nonetheless, all documentation must be obtained before our agency will refer a child.  Sometimes documentation is not able to be obtained and a child will not be referred.  Sometimes an individual involved in a case cannot be located and a child will not be referred.  Unless our agency is confident that a referral will pass the strict review now in place, a referral will not be issued.  However, because of the increased time and effort needed to investigate each case to ensure a child can be adopted, this means fewer children are available to be placed in any given month. 

As for timelines, it is hard to say.  Families are being told to prepare for a wait of 24 months or longer.  But really, our agency just doesn't know how long any family will wait. 

This communication cleared up a few issues.  It was an acknowledgement that the previous estimated wait time of 12-18 months from dossier submission to referral had essentially flown out the window.  No one knows if the slowdown will continue, if things will pick up, if they will become even slower.....Right now we just take it month by month. 

The communication was also an explanation by our agency that they are aware of the changes in requirements by the Embassy and they will do everything they can to ensure each referral they issue is documented and able to pass the strict review.  Yes it means fewer referrals will go out each month and that we may be waiting a very long time.  But it also increases the trust I have in our agency that they are acting ethically and in the best interests of the families they serve.  It also means our agency is acting responsibly so as not to threaten the entire program.

Too many times I see - even now- agencies that are not licensed to operate in Ethiopia but instead "umbrella" under another agency.  They promise short wait times and quick referrals.  With the scrutiny now in place this is the biggest threat to the program being able to continue.  Obviously many of these agencies will not have done the careful documentation that is needed to pass court and the Embassy.  There will be questions.  Families may or may not have the support of their agency to clear up questions.  But the more questions there are, the more records are missing or conflicting in the haste for a quick referral, the more Ethiopian adoptions are perceived as unethical and that folks plays into the hands of those who would love nothing more than to see the entire program shut down.  Quicker is not better.  For anyone.

So what does that mean for us?  I am becoming resigned to the thought that 2012 is not going to be our year.  It kind of sucks when it is only February and you come to this realization.  On the other hand, it is a bit liberating - we can plan vacations, start projects, stop hording sick no who am I kidding.  It sucks.

But I am coping.  With lots of chocolate.  Last week it was home made dark chocolate brownies.  This week it is chocolate chip cookies.  However, as Shakira would say - Hips don't lie - and mine are telling me to stop coping. 

So I will let you all cope for me.  Try this recipe found at My Baking Addiction!   

Rolo Chocolate Chip Cookies

Yield: about 30 cookies


1 ½ cups unsalted butter; softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 eggs
3 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup chopped pecans
30 Rolos; frozen at least 2 hours


1. Heat oven to 350°F. In large bowl, beat butter, sugars, vanilla and eggs with electric mixer on medium speed or with spoon until light and fluffy. Mix in flour, baking soda and salt. Mix in chocolate chips and pecans.
2. Measure dough using a medium cookie scoop (about 1.5 tablespoons). Roll into a ball and then flatten in the palm of your hands.
3. Place a frozen Rolo in the centers of the flattened dough balls and form dough back into a ball around the Rolo.
4. Place Rolo stuffed dough balls into the freezer for 15-20 minutes before baking.
5. On cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat, place dough balls 2 inches apart.
6. Bake 11 to 13 minutes or until light brown (centers will be soft). Cool 2 minutes; remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Uggie who?

Uggie isn't the only cute terrier out there.  I'm pretty partial to my little one.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Our Homestudy Visit and the Drama Queens

We had our home study visit.  Everything went well.  The house was clean, we were more relaxed this time around, and we had a nice conversation with our social worker.  That is until we heard the indignant barking coming from the back door.  Followed by a loud moaning that sounded like a dying whale. 

Someone was not happy! 

To be fair, the short one in the front was the barker.  The mopey one in the back was the foghorn.  And Wilson the lab - well he just wondered why he was locked out with those two deviants.  (And by the way, they were locked out because we didn't want them to take turns sitting on our social worker's lap.) 

Good thing the social worker didn't interview them.  I can just imagine the list of complaints......locks us outside for half an hour! Not enough treats! Will not let us eat off her plate! Will not take us for walks in snow or rain storms! Leaves us alone almost everyday to go somewhere and she is gone for hours!!! Not enough belly rubs!!  The mistreatment!! The horror!!!!!!

I would like to file a complaint with the owner of this establishment.

I wish there was a Pet Swap.  You know, like Wife Swap, but with pets.  Where we switch families so we can experience a completely different life style and appreciate what we have.  I would even make it easy and switch with my next door neighbor.    She owns a chocolate lab named Penny.  She feeds her Ol Roy (apologies if that is what you feed your dog!)  She leaves her outside for days with no access to the garage or inside of the house.  Penny doesn't get much attention.  I am certain her treat pantry and toy box are not as full as ours.  And if I were a betting woman, I would say Penny does not get to sleep on the bed, a couch, or on her mom (all 3 of these spots are taken in our house on a nightly basis!).  Maybe spending a week next door would teach my kids appreciation.  Then again -it might also result in the unintentional addition of a second chocolate lab because I am certain Penny will not be running back to her owner once she sees how life is on the other side of the fence! 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Thoughts on the Wait

I came across this article  and for some reason, it spoke to me.  Especially the part about burying hope and anticipation and somehow making it through the wait.  The author in this article waited four and half years to become a mother.  Can you imagine?  

I remember when we first started this process.  We took a class - one of the classes we all have to take - and there were several other couples in the classes, but two I remember.  One was a couple who at the time had waited 24 months for a referral from Ethiopia.  The woman had no idea when she could expect a referral and she was in tears describing how hard it was to not know anything.  The other was a couple who had been waiting four years to adopt from China.  They seem shell shocked, resigned to waiting another year or two.  I remember feeling fortunate that our agency had projected only a 12 month wait.  I remember thinking, these poor people, I hope I never have to experience that.

And now........Everything has changed.  The Ethiopian program is entirely different.  I have absolutely no clue when we will receive a referral.  Our agency projects a wait of 18-24 months or longer.  We are approaching month 15.  I know we won't receive a referral in the next 3 months.  I'm doubtful we will receive one in the next 9 months.  I think we are going to fall into that "or longer" catch all category, which is probably the most accurate statement about the projected wait that our agency has made.  Because they cannot, with any degree of accuracy, tell you how long they expect your wait to be.   

So what is the plan?  To wait, of course.  I've never given up on anything that I've ever really really wanted (except George Clo*oney and only because his girlfriends get younger and younger and I am so not 28. Or single.)   I'll wait.  It will hurt.  I will cringe every time someone asks me if I am still doing that adoption thing. I will have doubts.  I will cry, I will curse, I will threaten to walk away.  But I won't.  I can't.  Inside of me, buried deep, is hope it will all work out.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


So much has happened since last I shared
*Our homestudy agency is closing.  Guess the news that they were going to charge waiting families a monthly fee did not go over too well.  What that means for us is we have to start over at a new agency.  And our home study is due for an update.  The good news is our new agency will not charge us to do a whole new home study.  The bad news is that instead of merely updating forms, we have to fill out everything as if we were a new family.  But we are saving money which was really great on their part so the massive amount of paperwork is something we will just have to work through.
*Sent in our request to update our fingerprints.  And today marks 14 months of waiting.  NEVER EVER did I think we would still be waiting.  And waiting at #'s 25 for a Boy and 35 for a Girl.  I haven't posted our new waitlist numbers.  One month we moved back, and then there was a long stretch of no movement.  I'm not sure what to think.  The optimist in me wants so hard to believe we can move 25 spots in one year.  But the pessimist in me secretly believes that our time will never come.
*I am trying to keep myself distracted.  We are refinancing our house at a really great rate and using some of our equity to remodel a few things. So in addition to the adoption paperwork, I have refinancing paperwork and trying to keep the two straight is maddening.  I can feel the gray hairs growing.  But it is fun to plan new projects, to pick out new paint and tile and vanities. 
*We are planning another vacation.  I looked at the list, checked it twice, and unless a miracle occurs, I figured there is no way we would be traveling much less receive a referral by early summer. So we are going to Peru! We figured we needed to make the trip before we are too old to hike Machu Picchu.
*And on the topic of age.....I constantly wonder what if our time is passing.  What if our window for becoming parents is closing.  Then what?  How do you know when it is time to let go?  Maybe some women are not destined to be mothers.  Maybe I was destined to be a really great aunt. 
I'm wrestling with a lot of feelings lately.  I know I've been a bad blogger and I know I haven't commented or been very supportive to those of you that are also on this journey.  I apologize.  I'm just working through a difficult time.
Fortunately, I have a great support system.